Frankly Speaking

I make up for lack of content by giving you something amusing for your weekend. Enjoy!

Labels: pointless silliness

While we are subjected to daily rants from the feminists here in America about how tough their lives are because of the patriarchy, allow me to remind them that they are lucky they don't live under sharia law.

Apparently two women in Saudi Arabia were walking down the street together, and not only that, but they had the audacity to be wearing makeup. When confronted by the Saudi moral police, the women called them terrorists, pepper sprayed them, and cursed them.

He said the commission’s officials stopped the women to give them advice and guidance after they noticed they were wearing makeup. “One of the women took out a black container and sprayed a substance at them while the other filmed what happened with her phone camera while making improper comments,” Al-Marshoud said.

He said commission members took control of the situation with help from security patrols.

“During questioning, the women apologized for attacking the two commission members, signed a statement and were released,” he added.

So, after being taken into custody and questioned, the women realized the error of their ways and apologized for being the tools of Satan.

If that's not enough, just across town women are being asked to eat standing up. You see, restaurants have placed tables outside for patrons to take their Iftar meals during the fasting month of Ramadan. In a blatant move against all things holy in this world, families were sitting at the tables together. With wives and daughters daring to sit and eat at the same table as the head of household.

Bitches.

Again, the Saudi moral police stepped in and informed them of the error of their ways. Women and daughters now eat standing next to the table, the way God Allah intended.

h/t Elder of Zion.

Labels: biting sarcasm, general rants, jihadistan

Last year in my fantasy league, I was the top scorer and finished 1/2 a game back from the best record.

So far this year, I am 0-3, and they are suggesting I change my team name to "bye week".

That is just not funny.

Labels: all about me

The headline pretty much says it all, "Iraqi National Police Break Up al-Qaeda Rape, Terror Cell in Samarra". You really need to read the whole thing, but here is a teaser.

Without a bit of pressure -- indeed, without the appearance of a care in the world -- Medhi, described in graphic detail the other half of his ISI cell’s operations: running an organized al Qaeda Rape ring in Samarra. With a modus operandi of breaking into various houses and either raping women on the spot or threatening the family with death while taking their daughter away to become a hostage and a sex slave, Medhi, a self-described homosexual who engaged in intercourse (via rape) with women “because other members of this group” did, confessed to his cell’s penchant for abducing girls and “holding them [hostage] just for their pleasure.” Most recently, he said, he had taken part in the rape, kidnapping, and/or killing of five women, three of whom were supposedly still alive.

Among these most recent victims was “a twenty-five year old virgin,” who was “alone in her house” when the al Qaeda leaders “raided” it. Breaking into the house, all five members of the cell held her captive in her own home and raped her repeatedly. Finally, when all five had quenched their base desire for that action which they so brutally prohibited others from humanely engaging in, under the guise of enforcing “true Islamic law,” the terrorists departed, leaving the woman alone in her pain and misery.

If there is such a thing as “getting off easy” for a girl who is gang-raped, this first woman did just that. Two others, both age 23, met a much more gruesome fate shortly after the first, as they were taken from their houses (in front of their families), raped repeatedly by the entire al Qaeda cell, and then slaughtered. According to Medhi, their bodies were buried in a cemetery somewhere in the city.

If you need me, I'll be over here waiting for all the moral outrage. You know, from those who try to paint them as these brave freedom fighters, who only take up arms to fight the oppressive American imperialism. Because they don't fight, rape and murder for the sheer enjoyment of it, do they?

I'll also be holding my breath awaiting all the news stories about "the hypocrisy" of it all. I mean, for the last few weeks you couldn't go 30 seconds without hearing about Larry Craig's hypocrisy because he votes against gay marriage and then tries to get a little glory hole action in an airport restroom. These guys enforce Sharia law, that doesn't allow a woman to even speak to a man to whom she is not related, but they are free to take whatever liberties they want with the women in your family, and then kill her as a way of saying "thanks".

Labels: Iraq, jihadistan, war

I have long argued that the U.S. economy is much stronger than most people give it credit for. Here is my proof.

I think anyone that would pay $55 for a bottle of water inherited their money, because if they had earned enough to buy $55 water, they would have enough sense not to. But I thank G-d that we live in a free market society, where someone is able to make a seemingly very nice living charging people outrageous amounts of money for something that they already pay a monthly fee to have available in several rooms of their own homes.

G-d bless America.

Labels: unbridled capitalism

An actual conversation that took place Tuesday afternoon between a coworker and the 70+ year old husband of our cleaning lady. His nickname is cabbage, and I have no idea why, and he comes in to help his wife clean.

Coworker: "Hey cabbage, you got it hard today?"
Cabbage: "I almost did this morning."

Me: uncontrollable laughter.

And that is why I love old people. You never know what they're going to say.

Labels: all about me

Now that is funny, I don't care who you are. To see more pictures from the front, check out INDC Journal.

Labels: Iraq, war

I always thought of Barry Manilow as a girly man, but this seals the deal for me.

In an exclusive statement to TMZ, Barry says, "I strongly disagree with her views. I think she's dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her."

Barry was scheduled to appear on "The View", but has decided that Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who is the token conservative on the show, is too dangerous to actually speak to. Never mind that he would have ran to the fucking show if Rosie was still on there, because Lord knows she's a shining beacon of truth and justice for all mankind.

Can you imagine if conservatives refused to go on any show where they had to share the stage with a liberal, and said that they thought this liberal "was dangerous and offensive"? They wouldn't be able to appear on Hannity and Combs any more, because Alan Combes is a danger to society because of his liberal beliefs.

This is such utter bullshit, and completely in line with how conservatives are portrayed. The arena of ideas is such a foreign concept to liberals. Or here's another one for them, since yesterday was the anniversary of our Constitution, how about the concept of free speech? Freedom of the press? (Not that I in any way think that The View qualifies as "the press") How about debating both sides of an issue and allowing the public to make up their own minds, based on their interpretation of what is right and wrong?

The problem with that is that when there is an open and honest debate that frankly discusses the issues, the conservative will always win. Now, before you get your panties in a wad about that statement, I don't mean the George W. conservative, because he has far too many liberal tendencies, despite their rabid hate of him. I mean the conservative view that favors individual liberty as well as individual responsibility. The view that government has a few specific jobs, as laid out in the constitution, and should butt the hell out of the rest of our business. The view that if government stayed out of the way, kept income taxes at a reasonable level, most people could and would take care of themselves.

But good Lord, don't dare try to share a stage with Barry Manilow and say something like that. He may start crying and throw his hanky at you.

Labels: biting sarcasm, celebutants

Just in case you haven't seen Sally Fields' Emmy speech yet, I'm posting the uncensored version here. While being broadcast on FOX, she was cut off at the line "If the world was ruled by mothers, there would be no God..." and they cut away. You can see the full version below.

Now let me point out a couple of things about this that really pisses me off.

1. Why is it that those on the left, and especially the women, always spout this "If women ruled the world, there would never be any war" line like it's an accepted fact? I don't accept this fact. Have you ever seen a woman when someone threatens her child? She will kick. your. ass. Have you ever seen video of the mothers of suicide bombers? They don't look like the peace loving moms that the leftists try to portray all mothers as, either.
2. Did you read the news today? A mother in Texas was arrested for setting her three children on fire. Or maybe you remember all those other mothers that have killed their own children over the last 15 years. You know, drowning them in the tub, pushing them into a river inside a locked car, hanging them. Can't you feel the motherly love?
3. If you haven't noticed, women make up more than half the population of the United States. If you really want a mother to run the country, then get off your asses and elect one. It's not our fault that the only female candidates you can come up with are Geraldine Ferarra, Carol Moseley Braun and Hillary Clinton. I mean, seriously. It's like complaining that there hasn't been a black president yet when the only black candidates thus far have been Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
4. The United States doesn't fight wars of imperialism. We don't go conquer countries and annex them. We have, however, helped to keep dozens of nations free, at the sacrifice of millions of our own men and women. Sally Field may not like that, but I bet she would like life under Sharia law a lot less.

When all is said and done, she looks nearly as idiotic as the night she exclaimed, "You like me! You really like me!"

No, Sally, they don't like you. They like the character you played. So say thank you, take your little statue, and sit the fuck down.

Labels: celebutants, war

Today is the 220th anniversary of the signing of the US Constitution. The left would have you believe that the founding fathers were nothing more then a bunch of rich white guys who didn't want to pay their taxes (little Dazed and Confused quote for you there), but what was the real truth? I'm going to quote extensively from this site, so please click on over so I don't feel quite as bad about borrowing his work. ;-)

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags. Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and
his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton. At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr. noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months. John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later, he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates. Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more.

Let's celebrate further with a few quotes from the founding fathers.

“All of us who were engaged in the struggle must have observed frequent instances of superintending providence in our favor. To that kind providence we owe this happy opportunity of consulting in peace on the means of establishing our future national felicity. And have we now forgotten that powerful friend? Or do we imagine that we no longer need his assistance? I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth—that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the Ground without his Notice, is it probable that an Empire can rise without his Aid?”
—Benjamin Franklin

“Should, hereafter, those incited by the lust of power and prompted by the Supineness or venality of their Constituents, overleap the known barriers of this Constitution and violate the unalienable rights of humanity: it will only serve to shew, that no compact among men (however provident in its construction and sacred in its ratification) can be pronounced everlasting an inviolable.”
—George Washington, First Inaugural Address

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.
-John Adams, letter to Abigail Adams, 1780

If men through fear, fraud or mistake, should in terms renounce and give up any essential natural right, the eternal law of reason and the great end of society, would absolutely vacate such renunciation; the right to freedom being the gift of God Almighty, it is not in the power of Man to alienate this gift, and voluntarily become a slave.
-John Adams, Rights of the Colonists, 1772

If you would like more quotes, check out this site.

Labels: liberty, life, pursuit of happiness

Those darn Israelis are at it again, launching a preemptive strike against Syria before allowing diplomacy to run its course.

Once the mission was under way, Israel imposed draconian military censorship and no news of the operation emerged until Syria complained that Israeli aircraft had violated its airspace. Syria claimed its air defences had engaged the planes, forcing them to drop fuel tanks to lighten their loads as they fled.

But intelligence sources suggested it was a highly successful Israeli raid on nuclear material supplied by North Korea.

Possible threat investigated, located, and destroyed. That is how you deal with Syria. Also a good lesson on how to deal with the press. Because you know the first thing those ass-clowns would have done is run to Bashar al-Assad and ask him his opinion on the whole affair, giving him time to hid everything before Israel could stomp seven shades of shit out of it.

The rest of the free world could learn a thing or two from Israel.

Labels: Iran, Israel, jihadistan, war

I guess that once you get away with a double homicide, armed robbery isn't that big of a deal any more.

O.J. was ticked off that some collectors were getting ready to sell some of his memorabilia, without his consent. So he gathered up some thugs, a few shotguns, and stopped by to pick up his stuff.

Simpson said the dispute was merely a confrontation with no guns. He said autographed sports collectibles, his Hall of Fame certificate, a photograph with former FBI director J. Edgar Hoover and video from his first wedding were all his, and that they were stolen from him and were about to be fenced by unethical collectors.

Simpson claims the stuff was stolen, but if it was stolen, why didn't he file a police report? Why doesn't he get a lawyer and sue for them for the return of his property? Why break in with a a bunch of thugs and steal your stuff back?

I think he voluntarily gave the stuff up to hide it from the Brown / Goldman familes, to whom he owes $33 million. The collectors thought they could make some money off of him, so they prepared to auction it off. After all, what could he say about it, because if he admits it's his, Ron Goldman will be all over it like O.J. on his ex-wife's new lover. Sorry, was that in bad taste?

Anyway, the one spot of good news out of all of this is that O.J. is spending some quality time behind bars. Something that should have happened a decade ago.

Labels: biting sarcasm, celebutants

Dave Warwack, a 44 year old art teacher in Chicago, is a vegan. Why do I bring this up, you ask? Because he has threatened to bring charges against his school district for child endangerment^* because.. are you sitting down? Maybe you should sit down, because you really aren't going to believe this. He wants them charged with child endangerment because they won't stop serving milk to the students.

Those bastards.

Warwak said he was not fired or suspended during a meeting Monday with school officials and representatives of Fox River Grove District 3. But he said he is not returning to class.

Of particular concern to him, he said, are posters in the school cafeteria that promote milk. While vegetarians stay away from meat, vegans such as Warwak shun all animal products.

"I can't really see working there as long as those milk posters are up and they keep feeding poison to the kids," said Warwak of Williams Bay, Wis., who said he began his vegan lifestyle in January.

A couple of things you will learn should you choose to read the article:

1. He's been teaching there for eight years.
2. He just became a vegan in January of this year.
3. He was a fishing guide until he found religionhis new vegan lifestyle.
4. He is completely nuts

Okay, the last one is purely my opinion, but I think it will hold up. The guy refuses to teach the district's curriculum, instead spending all his time teaching the students that eating meat is murder and milk is bad for you. He's even taken to distributing vegan literature to his 8^th grade class.

I think charges ought to be brought in this case. Not against the district, mind you, but I think he ought to be subjected to a competency hearing and maybe committed, because he's a loony.

My other favorite quote out of the article:

Warwak said he asked district officials during the 20-minute meeting Monday whether they would consider making the school menu offerings all vegan but received no reply. They wouldn't answer his questions, he said, so he didn't feel obligated to answer theirs.

They called that insubordination, according to Warwak, who said a lawyer was with him during the meeting.

"I don't like them making this about me when it's really about them," he said

He has adopted this new lifestyle, so suddenly the entire district should change to match him. I mean, how shallow are we that we expect him to keep his damn opinions to himself and do his job?

And finally, the district had the nerve to not respond to his unreasonable demands, so he doesn't feel he has to answer their questions, either. That, my friends, is what years of being in the teacher's union will get you. They have no concept of how a typical employer / employee relationship is like, where the employee has to actually do what they are told or the employer will kick their sorry ass out into the street and find someone who answers questions when they are asked.

I hope he does lose his job and is forced to fend for himself out in the real world. He should work for my boss, who happens to raise beef cattle. I would love to see the look on my bosses face when the guy asks for an all vegan menu at all future company events, and no, I won't be attending the company picnic on your farm, because you're a murderer.

Only in America are you free to be this stupid.

^*subscription required

Labels: education, general rants

Just when I thought I had heard everything. Just when I thought I was becoming numb to what happened 6 years ago today, I watch this, and my emotions overcome me.

What would I have done in his place? Would I have sounded that desperate? Would I have jumped?

All I can do is picture those I love; my girlfriend, my daughters, my parents and my brother and his family. My heart is broken for his family, as well as the thousands of others affected by this as well.

I am a hard man, who doesn't show a lot of emotion to those around me, but sitting here at my desk, listening to the panic in his voice, I felt the tears running down my face.

Kathy Griffin, who has made a career out of being a Hollywood outsider, has apparently made remarks that need to be cencored. She won an Emmy for her show "My Life On The D-List", and during her acceptance she happened to mention Jesus.

"Kathy Griffin's offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night," the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences said in a statement Monday.

In her speech, Griffin said that "a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."

She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, "This award is my god now!"

Personally, I think they should play her speech exactly as recorded, because I don't see anything offensive about it at all. I find it more offensive when someone who is obviously anything but a Christian gets up and thanks God for their success. One specifically that comes to mind is Steven Tyler accepting an award back when "Pump" was released. I'm paraphrasing from memory, but he said something along the lines of "We want to thank Jesus, our higher power, because we are higher powered." Puh-lease. Aerosmith is powered by a lot of things, but I doubt God has much of anything to do with their success.

Kathy Griffin was being honest, which is a rare thing these days. She has worked hard for what success she has, and she is taking the credit for her success rather than trying to attribute it to the intervention of God, Jesus, or anyone else.

I may have to get cable just so I can watch her show now.

Labels: celebutants, christianity, mediots

The older I get, the more the lifestyle of a hermit appeals to me. This morning I officially turned down the job offer I received last week. I wrote a very nice email to the recruiter, thanking her for all her work, and thanking the company for their time, expressing my regret at having to decline, and wishing them well in the future. In return they sent me an email that says, essentially, that I'm a jerk for having declined the job and that she refuses to work with me any more in the future because she "doesn't feel confidant" in setting up any more interviews for me. My response as I read it was something along the line of, "Kiss my ass, bitch."

I couldn't accept the job because they wouldn't get off enough money to make it worthwhile for me to move 14 hours. The reason they couldn't do that is because they were already over budget for the position because of the commission from the headhunter. In the end, I'm not sorry she lost out on that at all.

The good news is that I already have three other positions in the works, all of which have the potential to pay more than the one I declined, and all in areas with a lower cost of living.

So really, she can kiss my hairy, white butt.

Labels: all about me

Comedian Eddie Griffin had his stand-up routine stopped because of repeated use of the "n" word.

Griffin, who has appeared in movies such as "Undercover Brother" and "Date Movie" and the TV show "Malcolm & Eddie," was performing at a Black Enterprise magazine event in the Miami suburb of Doral on Friday when he was cut off after using profanities and the N-word, said Andrew Wadium, a spokesman for the publication.

Griffin also stars in one of my favorite poory acted, coming of age stories "The New Guy".

The fact that they actually stopped his performance because of his language surprises the hell out of me. I mean, a lot of black comedians make a name for themselves precisely because of their language; e.g. Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy. Maybe entertainment is finally going to come full circle and people are going to realize that you don't have to make ever set about how often you can drop the F-bomb or how many times you can use the "n" word. Maybe rap music will even clean up a little bit. But I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Of course Al Sharpton is taking credit for it, and I guess we'll let him have his day. I still think he's a race-baiting, bottom dweller, but he's on the right side of this issue.

Labels: race relations

Hugh Laurie from SNL, performing "The Protest Song".

Labels: pointless silliness

El Presidente Felipe Calderon gave an interesting speech on Sunday.

Two things from his speech that stand out to me

President Felipe Calderon blasted U.S. immigration policies on Sunday and promised to fight harder to protect the rights of Mexicans in the U.S., saying "Mexico does not end at its borders." [emphasis mine]

Mexico doesn't end at it's borders? Isn't that the very definition of a border; as in, the place where your nation ceases and another resumes? Or perhaps this was a covert declaration of war? Isn't that pretty much the way Hitler started out, by declaring that Germany would protect Aryans wherever they were? (No, I'm not saying Calderon is Hitler. I'm not that simplistic about the whole thing, just making a point.)

The second quote that gets to me.

"We strongly protest the unilateral measures taken by the U.S. Congress and government that have only persecuted and exacerbated the mistreatment of Mexican undocumented workers," he said.

Trasnlation: It really pisses me off that the U.S. Congress has finally started to act like it gives a shit about its national sovereignty and is beginning to enforce the immigration laws that have been passed over the years. And they did it all without so much as a call to my super-secret batphone to ask what I think about it? Stupid gringos.

One final question for Sr. Calderon. If you are so dead set on protecting the rights of Mexicans living illegally in los Estados Unidos, why don't you begin by protecting the rights of the Mexicans living just down the street from you?

h/t Emperor Misha

Labels: la migra, race relations

My life may be making a big change very shortly. I have been half-heartedly looking for a new job for a little over a year now. I throw out a few resumes every couple of weeks, just seeing what kind of nibbles I get. I love the job I currently have, I just need to make more money. Not because I need to buy a lot of stuff, but because I pay a little over $900 a month in child support, and it's killing me.

So, last week I got two nibbles. I followed up on one, interviewed with them on Friday, and found out today they want to make me an offer. It would be a nice change of pace. A larger company then I'm currently at, but still not a fortune 500 where you can get lost in the masses. I would be the number 3 guy in a team of 9, specializing in Information Security, incidence response and all security training. Stuff I love to do.

On my way to that interview on Friday I received email from the CEO of the other company, asking me what my salary range was. I sent him my range, and he replied that he would like to talk to me this week. I will have a phone interview with him either this afternoon or tomorrow. I'm waiting to hear back from him on the exact time.

The second job would be just as much fun for me. This company does risk assessment's, flying all over the country, spending 3-5 days with a company, depending on the size of the company, going over their policies, doing after-hours walk throughs to see if they can uncover any potential violations of those policies, and then they finish up with a couple of days of penetration testing. Again, all stuff I enjoy doing.

The problem with the first job is it doesn't pay much more than I make now. But it has room to grow, whereas baring any significant expansion of the company, I am as high as I can go in my current position. But the area it is in has a higher cost of living. But once I'm there, it'll be easier to find something else in the area that could possibly pay even more.

But if the second job makes an offer, it's in an area that costs about the same as where I'm at, and it pays at least $5k more then I currently make, possibly even more. Which is exactly what I need.

The other consideration is my children. I currently live about an hour from them, so it's easy to see them. But their mother is dating someone from another state, and there is a good possibility that they may end up marrying and they'll be moving about 5 hours away. If I have to travel 5 or 6 hours to see them, it's just as easy to travel 12. Life is just entirely too complicated.

Finally we have my girlfriend. If I take job #1, I'll be about 3 1/2 hours from her. If I take job #2, I'll still be many hours from her, but I'll be able to afford to see her more often then I do now. And she's not going to stay where she's at forever, so moving all they way there for just a few years may be nice in the short term, but will it be better for us in the long term? I don't know. Do you? I wish you did, because it would make these decisions a lot easier.

So, one way or the other, I may be moving in the next couple of weeks. I just don't know if I'll be moving to the other end of the state I'm currently in, or possibly moving 12 hours away, to start a completely new life.

Update: Just as I was about to post this, I received email from the CEO of job #2. My phone interview is in 2 1/2 hours. Wish me luck, because it would be a great job.

Update #2: Well, job number one called and made me an offer. Lower then I can really afford to move for, but still respectable. I spoke with job #2, and there are some legal issues about whether I can even continue speaking with them or not, as they are a subsidiary of a company that we do business with and it's just a big mess. I won't even know if I can legally continue speaking with them until the middle of next week, and I have to give the first job and answer by Monday.

Here's the problem. The money isn't great, but the position is. It's the work I want to do, in the area in which I want to live, and it would give me great experience from which to move to the next job. Or to even climb the ladder there. But is it worth the short term discomfort of being very tight on money for the long term gain? That's what I need to figure out.

Labels: all about me