Frankly Speaking

Seriously, has Garrison Keillor ever done anything interesting or original? I tried to watch A Prairie Home Companion with my brother and his wife, who happens to be as liberal as they come, and we couldn't do it. Within 15 minutes we were all sound asleep. We never tried again, because, to put it bluntly, it sucks ass.

Last week he wrote that

When an entire major party has excused itself from meaningful debate and a thoughtful U.S. senator like Orrin Hatch no longer finds it important to make sense and an up-and-comer like Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty attacks the president for giving a speech telling schoolchildren to work hard in school and get good grades, one starts to wonder if the country wouldn't be better off without them and if Republicans should be cut out of the health-care system entirely and simply provided with aspirin and hand sanitizer. Thirty-two percent of the population identifies with the GOP, and if we cut off health care to them, we could probably pay off the deficit in short order.

That's right, Republicans don't agree with him, so fuck them. Let them all die in their ramshackle shanty's in the south. They're all mouth-breathers anyway, not good for anything.

Apparently he got a little bit of a backlash from that column (Who woulda thunk it?), so this week he apologized

OK, it was wrong of me to say last week that we should deny healthcare to Republicans except for aspirin and hand sanitizer, and thank you to the many readers who kindly took me to task. It was so wrong. And I withdraw the idea that death panels should circulate through red states searching for the obese and slow afoot, the wheezy and limpy, spray-painting orange stripes on their ankles, marking them for future harvest. That was very, very bad.

Republicans have the same right to quality healthcare as anyone else, and you can quote me on that. Even people who are crazed stark raving berserk by the thought of a president with three vowels in his last name deserve to be treated with kindness and dignity, and shot with tranquilizer darts by game wardens and wrapped in quilts and taken to refuge.

That's right, even those lunatic Republicans deserve to be given a handout from Teh One. Even though we're all a bunch of inbred racists and don't really deserve it.

But wait, there's more. He couldn't stand to say something nice to Republicans, even in a back-handed kind of way, so he had to through in this parting shot in the end.

They're mostly about maximizing profit in the short run. They are the folks who buy a healthy company and then sink it under an enormous debt load that goes to pay them a vast profit even though the company is sinking, and the creditors get shafted.

They are the ones who are dead-set against government regulation and do not mind manufacturing hamburger patties contaminated by E. coli, and if someone becomes terribly ill from eating one -- a young woman in Minnesota almost died from a Cargill hamburger and will likely never walk again -- nonetheless Republicans remain staunchly opposed to G-men snooping around the slaughterhouse, and so I should never eat another Big Mac or Whopper or any other ground meat other than that ground from whole sirloin by a butcher as I watch. Never.

We are back to the 19th century so far as meat is concerned. This has been accomplished by those incredibly rude men who occupy first class on the airplane and elbow themselves ahead of elderly women in line as they yammer into dangly cellphones. They have nothing to do with art and even less to do with bringing up children. They are a danger to society and an embarrassment to their children. Nonetheless, if one of them falls down with a heart attack, he should be cared for, same as anyone else.

I'll pause a moment while that sinks in.

You see, Republicans want you to die. We don't care about safe food or safe drinking water or clean air or even about raising our children. All we want is to lay waste to the country, building as large a fortune as possible, screwing the little guy at every turn in search of the almighty dollar. Hell, if we're lucky the little guy will die so he can't sue us, and then we really win.

I am so fucking tired of hearing this same argument from asshole liberals like Garrison Fucking Keillor. I've heard it my entire life. Republicans don't care about children or the elderly or the environment. All we want is to fuck over the planet and everyone in it, so we can live in our mansions and spend our days counting our fortunes.

This is all such a giant load of horse shit. If you pay attention to the first quote up there, it was Keillor, your typical liberal fuckwad, that advocated the denying of health care to anyone who self identifies as a Republican. But we're the ones who want to see him die from contaminated meat.

Garrison Keillor, in two short opinion pieces, has perfectly demonstrated the sheer hypocrisy of the left. In one week he goes from advocating the death of Republicans to blaming Republicans for wanting people to die.

Congratulations Garrison Keillor. You are the new poster child for liberal hypocrisy. Maybe you and Michael Moore should consider getting a room together.

Labels: general rants, liberal hypocrisy, nanny state

The following is my opinion. If you don't want to read my opinion, then you shouldn't be reading my blog.

The average college age person in America is a moron. What got me started on all of this was a chance encounter on Facebook.

One of my coworker's daughters paints in her spare time. She's actually pretty good. She has around 50 of her paintings posted online and I was checking them out the other day. About 7 paintings in, I come across one she has created of Ernesto "Che" Guevara. Okay, the parents are liberal, Obama kool-aid drinkers, so I kind of expected it. But one of her friends left a comment which said something like, (paraphrasing here) "I can't believe you know about Che. Not many people around here do. He's totally my hero."

So, a middle-class, college educated, American girl, looking back at all of history, chooses for her hero a mass-murdering communist revolutionary. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what is wrong with America. Actually, no, that is not all this is wrong. It's not just the fact that one moron chooses Che as her hero, it's that she can say publicly that Che is her hero, AND NO ONE CARES.

Can you imagine the outrage were I to say that, say, Josef Goebbels is my hero? People would be outraged. Why is Che any different? How many deaths was he personally responsible for? But now he's little more than a pop culture icon worn by celebrities and bored college kids.

It makes me fucking sick.

Ted Kaczynski was a revolutionary, too. He also killed people trying to bring down capitalism in order to keep it from destroying nature. Why isn't he hailed as a hero by these same morons? Why don't they walk around wearing shirts emblazoned with his image like they do with Che? Oh right, because Che is "sexy".

There is an entire generation of idiots walking around out there, convinced that Che is sexy and Obama is a moderate.

Fucking morons, the lot of them.

Labels: general rants, rise and fall of American culture

Even "Thrill Up My Leg" Chris Matthews hits the nail on the head with this one. When asked to list anything that Obama has accomplished in the senate, State Senator Kirk Watson (D-Texas) came up with exactly.. zero accomplishments.



I feel the changiness and hopitude washing over me.

Labels: general rants, obamessiah, presidential politics, Sarah Palin

Heather Bresch, the daughter of West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin (?), apparently never met the requirements for the MBA that WVU awarded her.

A five-member panel has concluded unanimously that Mylan Inc. executive Heather Bresch, daughter of West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, did not fulfill the requirements for an M.B.A. degree from West Virginia University and that administrators acted improperly in granting her the degree retroactively in October, according to a person familiar with the report.

Further down in the article you learn that

Ms. Bresch, chief operating officer at the Cecil generic drug maker and a family friend and former business associate of WVU President Michael Garrison, has insisted she completed a master's degree in business administration in December 1998. She has repeatedly declined to provide a transcript or other documentation and has not spoken to the Post-Gazette since October, when she told the newspaper she had earned her degree.

Oh, so now she's a family friend and former business associate of WVU President Michael Garrison. I'm sure everything's on the up and up, then. I mean, no university president would allow his institution to award an MBA to someone that wasn't qualified just because they're a family friend and happens to be the daughter of the governor, would they?

Surely not.

Oh yeah, and in case you're wondering, since the article never mentions it, governor Joe Manchin is a Democrat.

Labels: biting sarcasm, ejukayshun, general rants, governmental idiocy, inconvenient truth, mediots

This is a crime against humanity.

Bremen officials say the northern city-state will be Germany's first to impose a general speed limit on its autobahn.

State environment minister Rainer Loske is saying Monday that cars will have to keep to 120 kilometers per hour (75 miles per hour) for environmental reasons. The measure takes effect Wednesday.

Let me tell you now, there is nothing in this world like driving on the autobahn. I've seen beautiful, sunny days, the blue sky above me as I pushed my BMW 525 to it's limits. Usually around 240kph. Those same days were usually met with flashing headlights as even larger BMWs, Mercedes and Audis flew past me like I was in reverse. And on one particular day I had a Ferrari Testarrosa pass me going at least 170mph. That guy was flat out moving.

Speed limits on the autobahn. Dogs and cats living together. It's the apocalypse.

Labels: general rants

A school in Reedsburg, Wisconsin is in trouble with local Christian groups for encouraging elementary students to cross-dress.

Students at Pineview Elementary in Reedsburg had been dressing in costume all last week as part of an annual school tradition called Wacky Week. On Friday, students were encouraged to dress either as senior citizens or as members of the opposite sex.

A local resident informed the Voice of Christian Youth America on Friday. The Milwaukee-based radio network responded by interrupting its morning programming for a special broadcast that aired on nine radio stations throughout Wisconsin. The broadcast criticized the dress-up day and accused the district of promoting alternative lifestyles.

"We believe it's the wrong message to send to elementary students," said Jim Schneider, the network's program director. "Our station is one that promotes traditional family values. It concerns us when a school district strikes at the heart and core of the Biblical values. To promote this to elementary-school students is a great error."

Please allow me the opportunity to point out that this is an extreme overreaction by the radio station, which has resulted in parents going crazy over, well, nothing.

Look, I'm all for parents being involved in education and ensuring that schools aren't working to subvert the values the parents teach at home, but this is harmless fun. Have they never had a spirit week during homecoming when students dress up in stupid costumes every day? Next thing you know, they'll be protesting against powder puff football because the girls are being too boy-ish.

Powder puff football was one of my favorite times during high school. The girls would wear the football team's jerseys and the guys would wear the cheerleaders outfits with outlandish wigs and makeup that looked like it as applied with a trowel and everyone would have a great time. It didn't mean you were a transvestite, it meant you could loosen up and have a good time.

So to all the parents up in arms about this I say "Chill out". Seriously. There are enough real problems out there for you to get upset about. You don't have to manufacture a sexual crisis in the schools.

And if this weren't an anonymous blog, I would post photos of myself in drag. At a church Halloween party. Doing the church lady dance. But instead you'll just have to imagine it for yourself.

Labels: ejukayshun, general rants, inconvenient truth, rise and fall of American culture

If you haven't seen the Absolut ad that features a large section of the Southwest United States as part of Mexico, check it out at Michele Malkin's digs.

There are plenty of other bloggers out there making their own versions of the ad, so I though I would throw in my $.02 worth. I think they should run this ad in Italy. And make sure to let plenty of Muslims see it. I think they would enjoy it.



Update: Damnitall. I just noticed that I left the "s" out of Absolut. That's what I get for playing cute. But you know what? You get the point and I don't have the time to redo the thing, so just pretend it's there.

Labels: general rants, mediots, race relations

Ranger Up, one of my most favorite sites in the entire world, is looking for new writers.

What we're looking for in a writer:

1) Good writing. Doesn't have to be Bill Shakespeare, but you have to be able to get your point across.

2) Biting sarcasm. We're assholes and we're looking for more assholes.

3) Factual writing.

4) Non-partisan - we don't want to push anyone's political agenda - we are pro-troops, pro-firemen, and pro-cops - period. Bashing politicians is definitely free game, but only as it relates to how their actions affect the armed forces or those that serve domestically.

5) Writing with some frequency. Once a week would be phenomenal. Twice a month is our expectation.

So, if you're ex military, can write and are a total smart-ass, this is the place for you to be seen.

If you've never visited their site before, you really have to read some of their work. If you are familiar with the military at all you will laugh your ass off. They are truly warrior poets.

Labels: general rants, military

When it comes to reproductive rights, guys are fucked. The entire abortion debate is centered around whether or not a woman has the right to terminate the pregnancy, for whatever reasons. Under that assumption, it is solely the woman's decision. If she wants to terminate and the father wants to keep it? Sorry about his luck. If he wishes to terminate and the mother wants to keep it, guess who is saddled with 18 years +/- of child support? That's right, the man.

Would someone like to explain to me why it works that way? Let me put it this way, it takes two to tango, and if it results in a third person being added to the mix, why is it fair that the woman has the sole right to decide if this person is going to live or not, and also to decide if the man is going to be paying for it.

Now, I am in no way against child support. I pay a fairly substantial amount of child support every month, and while it's not fun sending that much money to my ex wife every month, I want to take care of my children. However, if I were to go out, get drunk and hook up with some random woman out there, resulting in a pregnancy, why is it her sole decision whether I'm going to be stuck paying for it the rest of my life?

It almost makes you sympathize with this guy.

Darshana Patel told authorities she was suspicious as she watched her boyfriend stir a smoothie at an ice cream store. When he offered it to her, she noticed powder on the cup's rim, and the pregnant woman feigned illness and didn't drink it.

According to a criminal complaint, the woman says she sent the powder to a laboratory and it turned out to be mifepristone, the abortion pill also known as RU-486.

The test results came too late: She had already suffered two miscarriages in less than a year.

Obviously she wanted the baby, he didn't. He was facing being saddles with child support payments for the next 18 years, and decided the best way to deal with that was to slip her the morning after pill.

In the words of Chris Rock, "I'm not saying he should have killed her, but I understand."

Now we take on the case of the surrogate father.

The Nassau County man donated his sperm to a work colleague, and included his name on the child's birth certificate, saying it would give the boy an identity, courts documents revealed.

His colleague is a lesbian, and she and her partner wanted a child. He donated the sperm, and they had a son. The problem is that he crossed the line between simply being a donor, and being a father. He sent the kids cards and gifts, all signed "dad" or "daddy", and maintained some contact with the kid. Until 1993, that is, when the couple moved from New York to Oregon.

But, he has since been ordered to now pay child support for the kid, who is now 18, even though there was an "oral agreement" with the mother that he would give up all rights and responsibilities for the child.

Long story short, if you're a guy, you better make sure you know what you're getting in to, the next time you're getting in to someone. Because it may just be yourself you're fucking.

Labels: general rants

While we are subjected to daily rants from the feminists here in America about how tough their lives are because of the patriarchy, allow me to remind them that they are lucky they don't live under sharia law.

Apparently two women in Saudi Arabia were walking down the street together, and not only that, but they had the audacity to be wearing makeup. When confronted by the Saudi moral police, the women called them terrorists, pepper sprayed them, and cursed them.

He said the commission’s officials stopped the women to give them advice and guidance after they noticed they were wearing makeup. “One of the women took out a black container and sprayed a substance at them while the other filmed what happened with her phone camera while making improper comments,” Al-Marshoud said.

He said commission members took control of the situation with help from security patrols.

“During questioning, the women apologized for attacking the two commission members, signed a statement and were released,” he added.

So, after being taken into custody and questioned, the women realized the error of their ways and apologized for being the tools of Satan.

If that's not enough, just across town women are being asked to eat standing up. You see, restaurants have placed tables outside for patrons to take their Iftar meals during the fasting month of Ramadan. In a blatant move against all things holy in this world, families were sitting at the tables together. With wives and daughters daring to sit and eat at the same table as the head of household.

Bitches.

Again, the Saudi moral police stepped in and informed them of the error of their ways. Women and daughters now eat standing next to the table, the way God Allah intended.

h/t Elder of Zion.

Labels: biting sarcasm, general rants, jihadistan

Dave Warwack, a 44 year old art teacher in Chicago, is a vegan. Why do I bring this up, you ask? Because he has threatened to bring charges against his school district for child endangerment^* because.. are you sitting down? Maybe you should sit down, because you really aren't going to believe this. He wants them charged with child endangerment because they won't stop serving milk to the students.

Those bastards.

Warwak said he was not fired or suspended during a meeting Monday with school officials and representatives of Fox River Grove District 3. But he said he is not returning to class.

Of particular concern to him, he said, are posters in the school cafeteria that promote milk. While vegetarians stay away from meat, vegans such as Warwak shun all animal products.

"I can't really see working there as long as those milk posters are up and they keep feeding poison to the kids," said Warwak of Williams Bay, Wis., who said he began his vegan lifestyle in January.

A couple of things you will learn should you choose to read the article:

1. He's been teaching there for eight years.
2. He just became a vegan in January of this year.
3. He was a fishing guide until he found religionhis new vegan lifestyle.
4. He is completely nuts

Okay, the last one is purely my opinion, but I think it will hold up. The guy refuses to teach the district's curriculum, instead spending all his time teaching the students that eating meat is murder and milk is bad for you. He's even taken to distributing vegan literature to his 8^th grade class.

I think charges ought to be brought in this case. Not against the district, mind you, but I think he ought to be subjected to a competency hearing and maybe committed, because he's a loony.

My other favorite quote out of the article:

Warwak said he asked district officials during the 20-minute meeting Monday whether they would consider making the school menu offerings all vegan but received no reply. They wouldn't answer his questions, he said, so he didn't feel obligated to answer theirs.

They called that insubordination, according to Warwak, who said a lawyer was with him during the meeting.

"I don't like them making this about me when it's really about them," he said

He has adopted this new lifestyle, so suddenly the entire district should change to match him. I mean, how shallow are we that we expect him to keep his damn opinions to himself and do his job?

And finally, the district had the nerve to not respond to his unreasonable demands, so he doesn't feel he has to answer their questions, either. That, my friends, is what years of being in the teacher's union will get you. They have no concept of how a typical employer / employee relationship is like, where the employee has to actually do what they are told or the employer will kick their sorry ass out into the street and find someone who answers questions when they are asked.

I hope he does lose his job and is forced to fend for himself out in the real world. He should work for my boss, who happens to raise beef cattle. I would love to see the look on my bosses face when the guy asks for an all vegan menu at all future company events, and no, I won't be attending the company picnic on your farm, because you're a murderer.

Only in America are you free to be this stupid.

^*subscription required

Labels: education, general rants

If you're a Muslim from, say, Kuwait or Egypt, who lives in Florida, and you're planning on going on vacation, don't carry anything resembling a pipe bomb with you. You know, just in case you get pulled over for speeding.

"They admitted to having what they said were fireworks. Based on the officer's judgment at hand, based on what he had seen, we judged it to be other than fireworks," Berkeley County Sheriff Wayne DeWitt said.

Mohamed, 24, said he made pipe bombs from items he bought at Wal-Mart, according to an affidavit with his arrest warrant.

Now, I'm going to give these two happy-go-lucky kids a break here, and say I don't know that they had any terroristic intentions. Hell, I made my share of homemade explosives when I was a young lad. It was par for the course growing up around the military.

However.

If, by carrying around a trunk load of explosives you are going to fit the profile of a terrorist (20-40 year old Muslim male with a trunk load of explosives pretty much fits the bill here), then maybe you ought to consider leaving the pipe bombs at home and taking a few sparklers on vacation with you.

I know, sparklers suck, but they also keep you out of jail.

Labels: general rants, jihadistan, race relations

A mother helped her 17 year old son apprehend a child rapist using a barbecue fork.

Jennings was barbecuing chicken when he heard a 7-year-old boy calling for help. He said he saw the suspect, Deshaun Ridge, on top of the child, allegedly raping the boy.

"He stood up, and I just punched him right in the face," Jennings said. "He put his hands up and I grabbed him, and we went fighting."

Rhodes called police and then jumped into the fight to help her son apprehend the suspect. They held Ridge until police arrived.

I love this story. First because they saw something wrong and they jumped in to help. Second because she stabbed him in the ass with a barbecue fork. It's a good warm-up for what he'll be going through when he goes to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

Stories like this rekindle my hope for America's future.

Labels: general rants

Last week a thirteen year old girl had her feet cut off on the Superman Tower of Power* ride at Louisville, Kentucky's Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom.

I have been to Kentucky Kingdom, before and after it was bought by Six Flags. I rode the Tower of Power back when it was called the Hellevator, and let me tell you, it deserved the name.

I like roller coasters. I like being being a little afraid on a ride. When something scares me, I try to do it anyway, because I don't like being afraid. But that ride scared the hell out of me. I screamed like a little girl the entire time, and got laughed at by all the little girls around me who thought it was the greatest thing ever invented.

Well, who's laughing now, huh?

If you really want to scare yourself into never going to another amusement park, check out this site.

I know I'm making light of this, but I really cannot fathom what that poor girl and her family are going through. In an instant their lives were changed forever. I would be willing to bet that there is going to be an extremely large check coming their way in the not too distant future.


*You have no idea how badly I want to make some jokes here that reference Frank Zappa's "Bobby Brown", but I'll refrain.

Labels: general rants

Okay, we've all seen the above example of how poor grammar can change the meaning of a sentence. Why, oh why is it so hard for news organizations to learn this lesson?

I was just reading this story about the idiots who beat a teenager to death over some text messages sent to someone's girlfriend. I clicked the link to read the story details, when I ran across this sentence.

A third teen with Jones and Bankston fled when the fight started to call for help.

So the teen fled after the fight started to call for help? When was the last time you heard a fight call for help? I've heard fights grunt and yell, but I've never heard one call for help. Uless it was calling for someone else to jump in and help kick this punk's ass.

I know I am not exactly the king of the English language, but come on, they get paid for producing work like this.

Labels: general rants, mediots

Please pardon the expression, but I am totally in love with this woman.

Back story, two idiots were disrupting Northwest Airlines flight 470 when the following occurred.

Shortly before landing, Bob Hayden and a flight attendant had agreed on a signal: When she waved the plastic handcuffs, he would discreetly leave his seat and restrain an unruly passenger who had frightened some of the 150 people on board a Minneapolis-to-Boston flight Saturday night with erratic behavior.

Hayden, a 65-year-old former police commander, had enlisted a gray-haired gentleman sitting next to him to assist. The man turned out to be a former US Marine.

"I had looked around the plane for help, and all the younger guys had averted their eyes. When I asked the guy next to me if he was up to it, all he said was, 'Retired captain. USMC.' I said, 'You'll do,' " Hayden recalled. "So, basically, a couple of grandfathers took care of the situation."

Now for the good part. While her husband was running down the aisle and taking down the two idiots, Katie Hayden never looked up from the book she was reading.

Hayden's wife of 42 years, Katie, who was also on the flight, was less impressed. Even as her husband struggled with the agitated passenger, she barely looked up from "The Richest Man in Babylon," the book she was reading.

"The woman sitting in front of us was very upset and asked me how I could just sit there reading," Katie Hayden said. "Bob's been shot at. He's been stabbed. He's taken knives away. He knows how to handle those situations. I figured he would go up there and step on somebody's neck, and that would be the end of it. I knew how that situation would end. I didn't know how the book would end."

Emphasis mine.

I love this woman. "I figured he would go step on somebody's neck, and that would be the end of it." That, as I said in the title, is one tough broad. There's no other way to say it.

Labels: general rants, military

The U.S. government is baffled how a man infected with t.b. was able to get back in to the country after his name was put on the no-fly list.

Worried infection specialists say it shows how vulnerable the United States is, from outdated quarantine laws and the speed of international flight, to killer germs carried by travelers. What if, they ask, the now-quarantined man had carried something very contagious like the next super-flu?

"It's regretful that we weren't able to stop that," Dr. Martin Cetron of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said of how the man fled when U.S. health officials tracked him down in Rome and told him not to get on an airplane.

So, what we have here is someone who is sick, that we know we don't want traveling and spreading his disease, but yet he somehow managed to slip by our crack border patrol. Even though we knew who he was, what he looked like, and had put him on the list that is supposed to stop him from coming in. But hey, it's not like he's the first. I mean, we have anywhere from 10-20 million illegals in this country, so obviously it's not all that difficult to get across the border.

But here's my favorite quote:

"We need to rely on people to do the right thing," Cetron said, saying the CDC hesitates to invoke its quarantine powers.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly why we will never secure our borders, and why unless we change our attitude toward fighting the war in Iraq, we will lose.

I'll say this slowly so that even the kids on the short bus can understand. You can not count on people to do the right thing. Yes, the vast majority of people are good and moral and will do the right thing just because it is the right thing. However, there are some people who will not do the right thing, even with the threat of repercussions. That is why we have a police force, and why countries have military forces. It's also why we have the border patrol and no-fly lists. If only the fine folks at the TSA could learn that being zip-loc nazis is not as important as making sure that the people walking by aren't terrorists. Or typhoid Mary.

Labels: general rants, governmental idiocy, la migra

A pair of 16-year-old girls face hate crime charges after they allegedly handed out anti-gay fliers targeting a classmate at their northern Illinois high school.

Earlier today, a judge rejected bond for one of the girls, citing her home environment and already lengthy juvenile record — 13 run-ins with the cops. Instead of home detention, the girl will be held at the Kane County Juvenile Justice Center while the case is pending, according to the Daily Herald.

Let me make this as plain as I can. This girl is in JAIL for exercising her first amendment right to free speech.

Now don't get me wrong, she's an idiot. And she's an idiot with a lengthy record who will probably end up back in jail for something else in a few years. However, in this instance, being arrested, let alone jailed, is ridiculous.

Okay, they handed out fliers depicting a male classmate kissing another boy. If that's all it takes to get arrested, I would never have made it out of elementary school.

This is just one more indication of what is wrong with America. We are too soft, and we are raising a generation of pussies. The boy probably got his feelings hurt. Hell, other kids probably taped copies of the flier to every locker he had, and I'm sure he never hears the end of it in the shower after p.e. Again, so what.

Are kids supposed to believe that no one is ever going to be mean to them in the world? That's what we're teaching them. If someone says something to you that makes you feel bad, why that's hate speech. We'll lock that little bitch up. We can't have anyone out there *gasp* thinking. Especially if they think homosexuality is something to be made fun of, because we just will. not. stand. for. that.

So what's next? We already see that Google is regulating what news sites are allowed to say about terrorists and Islam. Now teenagers aren't allowed to imply that a classmate is a homosexual, at least not with a negative connotation. And don't forget the kids who are in trouble for throwing bag with a ham steak in it onto a table near Somali Muslims. I can't believe they aren't in irons yet.

Let me tell you how we would have settled this when I was in school, which wasn't all that long ago. Okay, this year is my 20th reunion. Get off my lawn. Anyway, we would have found who made the fliers, and if it was a guy, he would have gotten his ass kicked. If it was a girl, I would have found a female friend to do it. Afterwards we would all meet up at some party and have a few beers and laugh and "Hey, remember that time you kicked ____'s ass because he made those fliers?" Instead, this kid will probably be in therapy for the foreseeable future, and will probably end up committing some ridiculous crime himself and blame it on the rage and shame he feels as a result of being picked on.

Fucking kids. Fucking thought police.

Get off my lawn.

Labels: general rants

Meet Oscar Pistorius. He is the 20 year old, South African phenom. Three years ago he had never set foot on a track. Now he's got his sites set on the Olympics. He holds records in the 100m, 200m, and 400m sprints. As you can see from the picture, Oscar is a double amputee.

He was born missing bones in his lower legs, as well as having deformed feet. He had both legs amputated below the knee when he was 11 months old. He took up running to rehabilitate from a rugby injury. I don't know about you, but this guy sounds like a bad ass to me.

He wants to compete in the Olympics. No, not the Special Olympics, The Olympics. However, some are complaining that the carbon fiber blades he runs on are akin to him running on giant springs. They claim that they give him added bounce and that they lengthen his stride.

I think they're scared shitless of losing a race to a legless man.

Hopefully the Olympic governing body will give him the chance to earn a spot in the Olympics. Which, after all, is what it's all about, right?

I originally planned to use this to segue into a discussion about affirmative action, the equal rights amendment, and a few other topics, but I've changed my mind. Today, it's about sport, and the love of it. If Oscar can cram the stumps of his legs into these prosthetics and move them fast enough to get around the track, not just finishing the race, but winning; well, I say good for him.

And if he makes the Olympics, there will be at least one American cheering for a South African during the track and field competition. Well, cheering him on to a strong second place finish, anyway. After all, I still want to see America kick butt.

Labels: general rants

A restaurant owner in Louisville refused to serve O.J. Simpson the night before the derby.

Ruby — who owns restaurants in Cincinnati, Louisville and Belterra, Ind. — said Simpson, who was in town for the Derby on Saturday, came in with a group of about 12 Friday night and was seated at a table in the back. A customer came up to Ruby and was "giddy" about seeing Simpson, Ruby said.

"I didn't want that experience in my restaurant," Ruby said, later adding that seeing Simpson get so much attention "makes me sick to my stomach."

He said he went to Simpson's table and said, "I'm not serving you." Ruby said when Simpson didn't respond, he repeated himself and left the room.

Ruby said Simpson soon came up to him and said he understood and would gather the rest of his party to leave.

I have a couple of thoughts on this.

#1. Ruby has balls. Big, brass balls. I'm sure that he knew that he would end up with some kind of lawsuit on his hands as a result of this, but he did it anyway. That takes some brass ones. But he has convictions and stood up for them.

#2. I wonder who the people were who were traveling with O.J.? Family? Friends?

#3. O.J. at least showed enough class to not cause a scene by taking his entourage and leaving. That was a classy move on his part.

#4. O.J.'s attorney, being an attorney, is going to turn this into a circus. He's already claiming that his client was refused service because of his race. Is this guy a complete moron? I mean, there's not a business in this country that would deny O.J. anything because of his race. Maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, just maybe it has to do with the fact that he allegedly murdered a couple of people. Or that he tried to profit from those murders with his "If I Did It" book a few months ago.

Look, O.J. was acquitted, so he has the right to be out doing whatever it is he wants to do. The restaurant owner also has the right to refuse service to pretty much anyone he wants.

Personally, I used to really like O.J. After the whole murder thing, I doubt I would hang out with him. I feel the same way about Michael Jackson. He's not been convicted of anything, but that doesn't mean I would allow my kids to spend the night with him, either.

Labels: general rants, race relations