Frankly Speaking

I laughed my ass off. I'm pretty sure I own at least a dozen of these already.

h/t my lovely wife.

Labels: pointless silliness

Charlize Theron, who is smoking hot, raised $140,000 for charity recently. I think she could have made a lot more, but I'll explain that in a minute. She was auctioning off

"a 2010 trip to South Africa that included World Cup tickets, a safari and a meet-and-greet with Nelson Mandela."

Bidding stalled at $37,000, which didn't make her very happy, considering Jeremy Piven had just raised $280,000. To sweeten the pot, she offered the chance to kiss her for 7 seconds for $130,000. However, the winning bid went to a woman who bid $140,000. This is where she totally missed the boat. She should have immediately followed it with an auction to watch the two of them make out. Of course, she would have had to kiss the woman a little longer than 20 seconds, and there should have been some groping.

She could have made a LOT more money that way.

H/T to my lovely wife for sending me the link.

Labels: pointless silliness

It's Fuck it all Friday, and I have so many things rattling around in my head that I want to write about, but sometimes you have to know when to say "What the fuck". So, I present for you listening pleasure, The Gourds covering Snoops Dogg's "Gin and Juice".

This, ladies and gentleman, is what the world should be like. Two styles that couldn't be more different, coming together in one glorious masterpiece. This is my dream for America.

Labels: FiaF, pointless silliness

Posted as I create them.

Barack Obama wins the National Spelling Bee

President Obama awards President Obama the Presidential Medal of Freedom
(Idea came from a commenter at Ace's place)

Labels: obamessiah, pointless silliness

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Labels: pointless silliness

I was reading a story on Fox News this morning when I noticed this picture in the right sidebar. My first thought was, "When did Fox start advertising pr0n?" Because that looks like a money shot to me.

Upon closer examination, it turns out that it's an ad for tooth whitening. I like my version better.

Labels: pointless silliness

It's Fuck-It-All-Friday, so let's skip politics for a few minutes and do something fun.

I love this remake. I'm not a huge Metallica fan, but I really enjoy the S&M double CD. If you have never heard it, you need to check it out at least once. There's just something about the juxtaposition of heavy metal over the philharmonic that I absolutely love.

To really get the full effect of this video, however, you really need to go to Metallica's site and watch the uncensored version. One of very few music videos I really enjoy.

Update: Ah, what the hell. Let's continue the cover theme. Below you find some of my favorite covers of 80s songs.


I'm not a big fan of Marylin Manson, but I love this cover of Tainted Love. I mean, really, how many of you ever saw this coming? Not me.


Alien Ant Farm covering Smooth Criminal. A few years ago this song was everywhere. I think the video amuses me more than I love their actual cover of the song, but it's catchy.

The last one has embedding disabled, which really pisses me off, but I enjoy the video. Again, it's a few years old, and technically it's not a cover, but it's my blog and I can do what I want. Bowling for Soup - 1985. The song is original, but they dress like bands from the 80s and it absolutely cracks me up. Especially the 400 pound Tommy Lee look-a-like. Plus, the mom dancing on the hood of the car is hot.

Labels: all about me, FiaF, pointless silliness

And what kind of conservative would I be if I didn't try?

Labels: all about me, i am the mob, pointless silliness

Donna Munson, age 74, of Colorado demonstrates just what happens when natural selection works as it should. You see, Donna was known to feed the bears in the area. She went so far as to construct a metal cage around her porch so she could feed them through the fence. The Department of Wildlife has been warning her for years to stop feeding the bears, even sending her written notice.

Last Thursday she spoke with her brother on the phone and informed him that a larger bear had been harrassing a cub that she had been feeding hard boiled eggs and milk. She told him that she planned to chase the bear off with a broom the next time he came around. Apparently no one ever told Donna that bears aren't really scared of old women with brooms.

According to the county coroner, Munson was grabbed by the bear and it slashed her head and neck with such penetrating force that Munson would have bled out in 90 seconds.

Later that day, a witness found a large bear feeding on Munson's body as it lay outside her home. It's not clear if that was the bear that killed her.

When deputies arrived to investigate the report of a mauling, they were approached by two aggressive bears, which they shot and killed. A necropsy on one bear was inconclusive -- and did not prove whether that bear killed Munson. A necropsy on a second bear at the home was pending.

Let this be a lesson boys and girls. I know that Yogi and Smokey are really cute, but feeding the bears is never a good idea. Followed closely by never chasing the bears with a broom.

Labels: pointless silliness

Something for the elf-loving, Tolkien fan, the LOTR Tungsten Carbide, Elf Love Ring.

"One ring to show our love
One ring to bind us
One ring to seal our love
And forever to entwine us"

The only thing that would make you look like a bigger nerd is wearing pointy elf ears and a robe while proposing with this ring.

Labels: pointless silliness

Pictured above, one loud-mouthed, annoying, celebrity wannabe and her younger date.

D-list celebrity and used-to-be-slightly-amusing comic Kathy Griffin showed up to the Teen Choice awards this weekend with an unusual date, former almost son-in-law of Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston.

It's kind of sad, really, watching two people that are that starved for attention. he hopes to get his own reality show, she hopes to appear young and relevant. Or maybe just young. Who knows.

How much you want to bet that she puts her hair in a bun, puts on the librarian glasses and makes her call him Sarah while she's bent over the back of the limo?

Labels: celebutants, hollywood, mediots, pointless silliness, Sarah Palin

If you're a fan of The Watchman, then you'll probably enjoy this. I know I laughed my pants off.

H/T Sharp As A Marble

Labels: pointless silliness

Red band trailer for Zombieland.



This trailer is so full of Teh Awesome that it's almost too much. I love a good zombie movie. Hell, I even like bad zombie movies. Sean of the Dead is right up there for me, but I see this one heading straight to #1 for me, as well as straight to my DVD collection.

hat tip Ed for the red band trailer.

Labels: all about me, pointless silliness

Take one photo, apply some Photoshop, mix in some controversy, and pour into one U.S. postage stamp. I am totally on board with this. I can see me creating an entire line of these to use on everything that leaves my home from now on.

This was created using Picture It Postage. Go ahead, give them a look. I'm sure you can think of a thousand different photos you would like to see on a postage stamp.

Hat tip Scott

Labels: obamessiah, pointless silliness, presidential politics

In response to this post at Ace's place.

Labels: pointless silliness

Thanks to a restructuring of the tax tables, my take home pay has gone up. Today my pay was exactly $18 more than it was two weeks ago. Now all I have to do is figure out where to spend all this extra money.

Labels: all about me, pointless silliness

But I can't help myself.

Am I the only one who notices a striking resemblance between the recently deceased Paul Harvey and Jim Carey as Fire Marshall Bill?

Labels: pointless silliness

Uncle Jay Explains the News. This time it's 2008, the year in review. I found every bit of it hilarious. He takes shots at everyone equally, but they are all done in good taste with just enough truth to each one to make it funny. You know, the way comedy should be.

Labels: pointless silliness

A school cafeteria worker has resigned her close to $6k a year part-time job because she used to be a pr0n star.

When Tuck's past was revealed in November some parents in the school district, as well as the board of education president, wanted her fired, but district officials were advised by their lawyers and those from the New Jersey School Board Association they had no legal grounds to terminate the 32-year-old from her $5,772-a-year part-time job.

My question, if someone who looks like the woman pictured above comes in looking for a job, how do you NOT know that she was a pr0n star? I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a school cafeteria lunch lady with gunns like that?

I'm willing to bet that the boys of that school are very sad following her resignation. I also don't think she should have lost her job just because she took it in the ass on camera a couple of times. I've worked for a school district before, and believe me, there are plenty of school employees doing that for free on a regular basis. And some even with consenting adults.

My favorite quote of the whole article, though, is this one.

At the time, Vineland School District Superintendent Charles Ottinger released a statement saying, "It's one thing if it's an illegal activity, because that would come up in the check. There is no way for us to know if a person is involved in these types of activities."

...

"If this is about morality, our president-elect has admitted to doing crack, and he's our president. Does that make him a bad person?" Tuck said in November, referring to one of Barack Obama's books, in which he admits trying cocaine. "Bill Clinton smoked pot. Does that make him a bad person?" (emphasis mine)

Labels: obamessiah, pointless silliness, rise and fall of American culture

I just received an email advertising the "First Presidential Black" visa card. How long do you think they've been planning this campaign?

Labels: pointless silliness, presidential politics