Frankly Speaking

Acting quickly and decisively, Obama came out and condemned Russia's aggression against Georgia and called for an immediate cease-fire. Luckily Russia heard about Obama having to take time off from body surfing to make this announcement and, fearing the wrath of the Teh One, immediately complied. As is evidenced by this quote from Gov. Tim Kaine (D-VA)

“[Barack Obama’s] goal was to be tough and smart, and so when the [Russian] action happened on Thursday, he immediately called for a ceasefire, condemned the unwarranted use of force by Russia. It was a bad crisis for the world. It required tough words, but also a smart approach to call on the international community to step in—and I’m very, very happy that the senator’s request for a ceasefire has been complied with by [Russian] President [Dmitry] Medvedev."

Thank G-d we had the messiah here to take care of things.

But wait, what's this?

Russian tanks rolled into the crossroads city of Gori on Wednesday then thrust deep into Georgian territory, violating the truce designed to end the six-day war that has uprooted 100,000 people and scarred the Georgian landscape.

You mean that Barack Obama utilized his Political Voice of Doom^tm and yet they still didn't stop? Do they not realize that if they don't comply with his wishes he will be forced to yet again call a press conference and use the Political Voice of Doom^tm to express his extreme displeasure at this turn of events?

I mean, all it takes to stop any conflict in the world is being willing to talk to the aggressor and ask him/her to stop all aggressive behavior, right? That's what Obama's been telling us during most of his campaign, that talking to your enemies is enough to make them stop.

I'm sure the Russians just didn't see how serious he was when he made his statement.

Labels: biting sarcasm, obamessiah, presidential politics