Friday, December 12 

A Word Of Warning

If your daughter tells you that the digital camera she received for Christmas the year before is broken and asks you to fix it, here is something you should watch out for. When you remove the case, you'll probably notice a large piece of electrical tape across one end of the electronics. That is probably there for a reason, but if you're like me you rip it off without investigating why so you can get to the screws underneath.

When you rip off that seemingly harmless piece of black electrical tape, you will unknowingly be exposing the leads on a very large capacitor. For those of you who don't know what a capacitor is, it's a small, harmless looking piece of electronics that functions somewhat like a batter. It stores an electrical charge and then dispenses that electrical charge when triggered. Like, say, when your finger lays across both leads, which is immediately followed by "HOLY MOTHER OF G-D" and you throwing said digital camera across your office.

At least that's what I would imagine would happen, if I were to do something like that. Which I did, of course. I then decided it would be a good idea to put the electrical tape back in place. Only when I was in the process of sticking it back down, the leads poked through the tape, making contact with my finger, which then closed the circuit a second time and "SHIIIIIIIT". Yeah, I shocked myself twice in about 90 seconds.

Lesson learned. Next time we throw the damn thing away and buy another cheap digital camera like we're going to do this time. Only there won't be nearly as much yelling and cussing involved.

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Sunday, May 13 

It's A Dad Story

I know that today is Mother's Day, but since I'm a dad, you get to hear my story before I wax poetic about how wonderful my mother is.

I was on the phone with my 12 year old Friday night, and she was telling me about finding out that she has an ear infection.

Me: "So you stayed home from school yesterday and today?"

Her: "Yeah. I didn't feel good, so I stayed home."

Me: "Okay, did mom take you to the doctor?"

Her: "Yeah, we went and he did some tests. Then later, momma called the doctor and you know what he said?"

Me: (thinking to myself.. "no more monkeys jumping on the bed?") "No, what did he say?"

Her: "No more monkeys jumping on the bed" followed by hysterical laughter.

Me: having a pretty good laugh at myself, because I've created a clone. I shall call her not-so-mini-me

Her: "He said I have an ear infection, but that was pretty funny, huh?"

And that is how our conversations typically go. The poor kid has no chance of ever being popular in school because she's too much like her old man.

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