iSarcasm

Simply the greatest iPhone review you will ever read. Ever.

Every time I watch one of those ads with the guy from Die Hard 4 telling me how easy and user-friendly his computers are to use, I thank God that he granted me the gift of intelligence so that I don't need to use Apple products to keep up in life. That's not to say that I'd describe myself as a "PC guy", either. It's just that Apple seems to market its products exclusively to people with a much lower than average IQ, and I wouldn't feel any pride in bragging to people that I prefer Mac. It feels like it would be admitting defeat. "I don't know what a hard drive is or how files work or how to double-click things, and the last time I got an error message I poured bleach into my CPU, and that's why I use a Mac!" I feel as though I'd be like the chubby, quiet kid with the Neanderthal brow in elementary school who got held back a grade for repeatedly cutting himself with the grown-up scissors, so now he has to use the big purple plastic safety scissors. And then Justin Long saunters in with his smart-casual attire and mild I-swear-I-won't-fuck-your-daughter expression, and announces smugly that that kid is the coolest kid in the class because he uses iShears.

And with that he is just getting started. You really have to read the whole thing. I laughed so hard my stomach hurts. It doesn't hurt that I, too, hate Mac.

via Ace.

Labels: biting sarcasm, pointless silliness, required reading