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Tuesday, February 6 

It's Called Parenting, Look It Up.

Hasbro has recalled 1 million Easy-Bake Ovens.

When I first saw this headline, it was right under a headline about fires killing 14 in Kentucky and Tennessee, so I thought they may be somehow connected. I mean, if the Easy-Bake Oven is a fire hazard, then by all means, please take it back and fix it. Who knows how many have been maimed or killed by this fiendish toy.

Oh wait, what's this?
About 985,000 Easy-Bake Ovens sold since last May have been recalled because children can get their hands or fingers caught in the oven’s opening, which poses an entrapment or burn hazard.

The ovens are manufactured by Easy-Bake, a division of Hasbro Inc. The company has received 29 reports of children getting their fingers or hands caught in the product, including five reports of burns. (Emphasis mine)
So let me get this straight. Hasbro is recalling nearly 1 million toys because 29 kids have gotten their hands stuck in them, and five have gotten burned. Five kids. Seriously?

We are collectively raising a generation of pussies. When I was a kid a lot of my friends received wood burning kits for Christmas. It was a metal rod that got hot and you used it to intentionally burn wood. Can you imagine a product so fiendish, so vile, that it's intended use is to overheat to a point that you can scorch a piece of wood?

And we're recalling the Easy-Bake Oven because five kids got burned. That seems like a sound business practice.

Now you kids go play. And put on your helmets. And shin guards. And gloves and elbow pads. And sunscreen. Oh, and here's your mosquito repellent. Deet free, of course. Never mind, come back in here and play some more PS3. It's safer.

Hehe... I actually think hasbro should receive an award... They have out'ed a bunch of morons! Instead of needing to wait until these pocket-tools grow to maturity before we are able to discern their relative value and IQ, hasbro has nailed them with their unique iq test! It is better to catch them early i say.

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